Panel on Deafness

I went to a panel on Deafness as part of a week-long event focusing on disabilities and expressing what people with disabilities CAN do, held at my university. I walked away angry and hurtful by the ignorance in the panel, especially towards people with CIs. So I decided to write the letter to knock on the committee's head that this panel was unfair to me and others with CIs.
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Dear Committee Members,

I am writing to discuss my concerns regarding Panel on Deafness that was hosted on Tuesday October 27th.

First, I want to introduce who I am. My name is ______ and I am a graduate student at the University. I have Ushers Syndrome, which caused me to be profoundly deaf and visually impaired. I have bi-lateral cochlear implant. I have lived with my cochlear implant(s) since 1989, when I was 3 1/2. It has always been part of who I am. Like many, many other people who have CI, we tend to see ourselves as "hearing" because of our environment. Our parents raised us to be oral and hoped that we're be like other hearing kids. I rarely saw myself as "deaf" because I never learned American Sign Language and didn't know many deaf people. I was fortunate in a sense to be working with Deaf Ed teachers in elementary school who introduced me to my "deaf identity" and my needs as a "deaf" person. Still, for most part, I just denied it and only accepted it when I took off my CI to sleep and shower.

However, as I became independent, starting with moving to college, I became more aware of my deafness. I could not go to parties. I could not join friends to concerts. I rarely went to movie theaters alone. I purposely chose work-study jobs that would not involve telephones, greatly limiting my choices. As I began working with professionals in disabilities services at my schools, including this University, I became more aware of my needs as a deaf person. I also met with others who had CI through my travels at UM. I realized that when we were first implanted as kids, it was considered a "solution" in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Now twenty years have passed and we have seen the long term consequences. People with CI still need to learn to live with their deaf identity. CI can't fix everything; it's not a solution nor a miracle. It's an option that invovles time commitment and personal dedication for success. I had to admit that I needed help with my classes with better note-taking system. I fought against discrimination when I attempted to change dorm rooms in my sophomore year and I won. I learned to be a self-advocate, recognizing my needs. I asked myself all the time, "What can I do to make this better for me?" If I can't understand someone on the phone, then I will get on the internet and communicate through relay system.

CI people face just as much discrimination as the deaf, even within the Deaf community. We have our own unique challenges. But for most part, we are still part of the Deaf community, even if we've been "outcasted" by the more radical. We still dream of captioning in theaters, movies, and shows. We want equality in the workplace. We hate being "shut out" by other people who don't realize that even though we can hear and speak, we still can't follow every word in the conversation. We get angry when people call us "hearing impaired". Even worse, we don't like to be considered "disabled" or "person with disabilities". I have never in my whole life accepted these terms because I can do a lot of things. To consider me as a person with disabilities would be a serious offense. I want people to know me that I am able to get my MA from UM, run 2 marathons, and travel solo in foreign countries where English isn't spoken.

When I watched the panel of 4 hard-of-hearing adults and 1 Deaf student. It was very apparent that the moderator chose to focus on HOH with special exception to Tar, the Deaf student. I could relate to a lot of what the HOH said about interacting with hearing people and in the hearing world. I was thrilled to learn that theaters and plays are now captioned, especially on Broadway in New York. So I was happy to be updated with what was going on in the arts because I've shut myself out as I couldn't really follow anything that was said.

When it was time for questions, I had my turn. I asked about CI and just for a brief thought about it. The moderator was very surprised and said that it would be like "opening a can of worms" and said it was a "controversial" topic. She was clearly uncomfortable with handling the question and wasn't prepared to do so. But she did allow the panelists a sentence or two. The panelists said almost nothing with the exception of Nan, who was HOH. Tar bluntly said it's a personal choice and left it at that. Then the moderator quickly spoke for all- "it's a personal choice and we don't have time to get into this. Next question." I was so shocked. The next question was from a mother with a child and wanted to ask about cochlear implant as well. I left abruptly due to a prior commitment but I was told afterward that people wanted to know a bit more about cochlear implants as well and one of them talked to my friend who had one.

I was not pleased with the moderator's tone and attitude, especially as an ASL interpreter who should be able to work with a variety of HOH and deaf people, CI users included. The audience clearly wanted to hear a conversation. They deserved to hear it. They also needed to hear that CI isn't a miracle nor a solution to "curing" deafness. They should hear that even a CI person, like me, have similar challenges as I've outlined above. CIs are part of the whole issue of deafness. It's an option that people choose to take or not take and I always appreciate hearing different perspectives. To ignore it is discriminating, just like how CI users are being prejudiced by the far right in the Deaf community even though we are part of the society. CI is gradually becoming accepted, especially among the younger people though.

I do sincerely hope that you will take this letter to heart and use it to re-examine your plans for a panel on deafness for next year and thereafter.

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I hope I get an apology. At least I'm getting their attention.